In life, as we all know, success requires hard work, dedication, motivation, and perseverance. We need to understand that we learn from the road bumps we encounter along the way as cherishing the moments when we hit emotional highs to capture the feeling of wanting more of it.
Since day one of college (thirteen years ago), I learned that if you’re not working very hard you might not be on the path to success. I learned the hard way; I partied and stayed up late. The only thing I put work in to was trying to stay “skinny.” Incredibly skinny, that is. I got caught up in the “being skinny” and felt unworthy if I wasn’t as thin or beautiful as another girl. I struggled trying to find my self-worth. In addition, I had the stress of the health of my mother. As a result, I developed an eating disorder which caused some physiological and emotional damage. The disorder controlled my life more than I would have liked it to and kind of pulled me off of the path to reach my goals. I ended up being in college for longer than the four years, but I finished. I had it in my heart and soul that I was going to get a diploma and I did it. It was a very tough time, but when I want something, I know I will do anything to achieve it.
“I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustrations were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.”–Tony Robbins
I realized that some things are sometimes harder for others—and I have realized now that these are all lessons to help us build our character. I have learned from every lesson that it is okay to fail; it’s even okay to fail miserably. The only way to success is on the path of failure. When you fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and learn from your “lessons” and keep moving. You have time to succeed. If you stay focused in an area where you’re passionate and where you have a natural advantage, YOU will succeed.
“You are capable of more than you know. Choose a goal that seems right for you and strive to be the best, however hard the path. Aim high. Behave honorably. Prepare to be alone at times, and to endure failure. Persist! The world needs all you can give.” E. O. Wilson
Some people don’t know that I did not get the job as a personal trainer right away. I took my first certification at 23 years old, ten years ago at Gold’s Gym in town. I passed and later that month I went in for my interview. My goal at the time was to work at Gold’s Gym in town because it was the best gym in the area. I’m a person that is “GO BIG OR GO HOME” type of person, so I felt that this was a right fit for me. I interviewed and I was turned DOWN! The reason was that I worked out there and it may not look good if people knew I had an eating disorder. I was SUPER bummed– I felt like a failure! Luckily, I had a friend that worked at the Buffalo Gold’s Gym in Minnesota and she put a good word in for me. I got an interview and later got the job! I could never thank my friend Jess J. enough for helping me start my career in the fitness industry. A few months later I was able to transfer to the Gold’s Gym in Sartell where I worked for four years before I opened my own personal training studio. The reason I mention this is don’t be afraid to fail and don’t waste energy trying to covering it up. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. Just remember it is OK to fail. Know that if you’re not failing, you are not growing.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!
I’m always trying new things and with that I fail about 50% of the time, but I turn it around and say that didn’t work but I will find a new way that WILL work. If I fail at that again I will keep moving until it works. It is all about how you think about it; this philosophy can be used in any situation. If you have failed at your nutrition or workouts, try it again. If it takes you 20 times to get it, so be it. You got it right?!
Goal setting tips that I use for my clients:
1. Write SMALL goals down every day. At end of the day write down the six most important things to do tomorrow; number them in order of importance, and then do them. OR you can also do them in the morning and write what needs to be done. There is something about writing them down at night that prepares me more and leaves me with less stress in the morning. Best thing about writing them down is that you can check off what you have done. It is a good feeling to SEE what you have accomplished for the day. This is the recipe for success. Plan your days and then complete your plans. I would try to complete the most important tasks first. These are the ones you usually don’t want to do because they require you to leave your comfort zone. But growth only occurs when you’re uncomfortable, so get accustomed to being uncomfortable. Get comfortable being uncomfortable, soon you will grow, soon you will succeed.
2. Have steps to get you to your BIG goals. Everyone seems to talk about their vision board and goals that they want to accomplish, but some end up having too many goals and not enough steps to get there. That will lead to failure. Yep, I said failure. But here is a way to succeed at your goal: write down those small steps to get to that BIG goal. Here is an example I see quite often, “I want to lose 20lbs.” I’m going to be honest – I hate that one. Sorry. This is what I suggest to everyone that I meet with – write down steps that you can accomplish on a weekly basis that will get you to that 20lbs. marker. Such as: work out 4-5 days a week and start with a food journal until you get educated on the nutrition. Drink more water or get more sleep.
3. Commit Yourself. Effective goal setting requires clarity about what the goal involves, knowledge on what type of effort will be required, and specific reasons why the goal is important to you. It also includes a plan for how you will accomplish each step, and perhaps most importantly, a commitment to seeing the goal through to completion. If you are unable to commit to the goal by taking time to develop a plan, and scheduling the time to focus on the action steps that will bring you closer to your goal, you will face a difficult challenge. Which like stated above, start with SMALL steps to work for that BIG goal.
4. Build your self-confidence. Some people really don’t believe they’re worthy of attaining the goal. As such, they self-sabotage themselves. Perhaps they suddenly walk away from the key contact that will help them with their goal, or they neglect to do the critical steps that will enable them to achieve their goals. People who feel unworthy usually lack self-confidence, and confidence is the foundation to a successful goal. This is an example of one of my Determinite online personal training client’s success story on self-confidence that I receive last weekend:
“I love that you focus on self-confidence in the program, its so prevalent and I don’t think I and others realize it. My biggest reality hit with that was my boards. I made a point of following the program meal plan and getting workouts in and studying my butt off. I was thrilled when I passed, but when the letter came I opened it and saw the number 21 by percentile and closed it, embarrassed. They failed the bottom 20% of surgeons taking the test and so I thought I got a 21 and just squeaked by, naturally because why would I score better than that? It wasn’t until my hubby opened the letter a week later and congratulated me on getting the 93rd percentile; you had to be at the 21st percentile to pass the thing. That was a huge slap in the face at how negatively I can think of and talk to myself, so I have been working on it hard … And feel so much better and getting more confident. Thank you!”
“If you’ve failed in the past, that doesn’t mean you have to fail in the future.”
These are all simple steps that can help you and there are plenty others as well. I feel what works for you is best. So take control of yourself, write your steps and goals, and follow through with action. With that you will feel more confidence by checking off that list every day. Make a commitment to you and the rest will follow.