We spend much of our lives chasing happiness; many of us would be hard-pressed to even define it in the first place. So what is happiness? Where can we find it? And once we do, how can we keep it?
Happiness hinges on our choices, attitudes and thoughts, and when we know more about how these choices, attitudes and thoughts affect the quality of our lives, we have a powerful recipe for cooking up more lifelong joy, meaning and satisfaction.
Each specific kind of feeling results from habits of thinking. If you think you’re not as good as other people, you’re going to be sad; if you are looking for a violation of your rights, you’ll be angry; if you think you will lose standing, you’re embarrassed. The point is every one of these thoughts was wildly inaccurate, given the truth that the puzzles are unsolvable. We make blunders in our thinking and sometimes pay a price for them.
The takeaway? People, who gain self-knowledge about their inaccurate beliefs and feelings, can permanently lift themselves into happiness. The more you understand your thinking style and beliefs, the more you are able to see the inaccuracies for what they are and be less affected by them.
I have mentioned the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes, and Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles—these two books have helped me changed my emotions on stressful times for the better. I realized the more stressed I am or upset about something I need to change my thoughts and things just get better. You need to try it, it DOES work!! Trust me on this one!
Pay attention to your instinctive emotional responses and begin to consciously challenge the negative thoughts that limit your belief systems that underlie them. Develop a self-calming or hopeful mental mantra to get you through anxiety-ridden moments. Even if you day starts off really crazy, calm your mind and tell yourself the day will get better.
Most of my days can be really crazy, being a wife, a mother, a two time business owner, writing a book, and planning three charity events in the next few months . It can be a little stressful to balance everything out and still have time to de-stress and have family time. But I have to plan out my days and I must keep on schedule!
So one advice I can give you is to prevent stress from happening, is to plan. Once the stress is there, it doesn’t matter how good you are at deep breathing or meditating, you’re going to be affected by it. Just figuring out what works best for you and what makes you feel happier during those stressful times.
You don’t have to plan out every minute of your life for the next year; simply outlining your upcoming day or week can make an impact.
There are three tips that help me combat my stress level:
*Make a list. Before you go to bed each night, create a to-do list and schedule on a notepad or smartphone. I’m the biggest fan of post its, whatever works for you, do it!
*Prioritize. Make sure you know the top two or three things you must get done during the day, and try to tackle them first so you can feel an immediate boost of accomplishment. Number it 1-10 for example, and start with #1.
*Break down big tasks. Some things can feel overwhelming, like clean out the garage. Breaking the big project into 15-minute tasks will give you a sense of forward momentum. For example, Box up old toys for Savers and clear out top shelf. We have done this today and I feel great to cross off one more thing off my list!
*Make sure to give YOURSELF some ME time. YOU need it–and don’t feel guilty of it. Every person needs to do this. It will make you less stressed and happier to get away even for 20 minutes. I promise.
No matter what you feel at the moment–take a deep breath; know that everything will be fine. Center yourself and listen to what your body and mind is telling you. Happiness is not what you can buy but what you can do to make yourself feel good–your body, mind and soul. Finding what works for you will be different for someone else, and once you find it–keep doing it. If your mind goes back to those negative and unhappy thoughts bring that happiness back with what has worked for you. When you feel good that equals happy and happy means people around will feed off that energy and you will soon live in a happy healthy environment.